Careers with The Irish Press
The Irish Press is a virtually unknown multinational company. We are currently recruiting. Do you have what it takes to join our hard-working team? A range of positions exist.
Current Vacancies
Hilarious Cunt
We currently have an opening for an Hilarious Cunt to join The Irish Press.
An established funny bucko, you will have experience (and relevant references) in
making people piss themselves, remebering bits of the A-Team and getting a crate in.
Your academic record will be shite.
Job Requirements will include thinking of funny shit, remembering to write down that
funny shit and saying, "Fuck this, I'm off for a pint."
If you think you have what it takes to be an Hilarious Cunt, send your CV to
the Irish Press.
Dozy Fuck
We currently have an opening for a Dozy Fuck to join The Irish Press.
An established eegit, you will have experience (and relevant references) in thinking
that it's your turn to make the tae again and going to the shop for me.
Your academic record will be shite.
Job Requirements will include making the tae, dropping heavy things on your own foot,
wondering why you haven't been paid and saying, "Fuck this, I'm off for a pint."
If you think you have what it takes to be a Dozy Fuck, send your CV to
the Irish Press.
Large-Breasted Secretary
We currently have an opening for a Large-Breasted Secretary to join The Irish Press.
An established blonde, you will have fucking massive jugs. You would give a dog a bone.
Your academic record will be shite.
Job Requirements will include having huge funbags, dropping stuff, picking stuff up,
doing some typing or something and saying, "Fuck this, I'm off for a pint."
If you think you have what it takes to be a Large Breasted Secretary, send your CV and many, many, many, many, many photos to
the Irish Press.
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The Irish Press, 2004